Again I fell down in my spiritual journey. I don’t know what to tell my God. I just look up and cross my fingers. I haven’t been anywhere in life. I have experienced failures. I failed the battlefield inside my head and soul.. sigh!
Today while scourging through the word press posts, I came across some lines in a post it goes like this
The process of stepping out of routine, taking a leap of faith, and breaking habits is extremely challenging and takes more self-discipline than the decision to make the change; it is an hourly, daily exercise in faith and intentionality.
Taking a leap of faith and break of habits—-> requires self discipline, hard work, determination and persistence from my part. To speak frankly, I lack the above qualities. I write over here, to make myself realize that I need to go more. I wanted to remind myself and people like me that we haven’t reached anywhere. When I look back, I feel I have lost myself. My past had darkness and brightness within itself. I think I have brought forth the darkness and lost the brightness. Now I am immersed in darkness. Thoughts like I-have-lost-myself, I-am-good-for-nothing disturb my head each and everyday. Mostly I-am-a-complete-failure occupy my thoughts nowadays. So I guess those lines were written for me, by Someone above. I am trying to take this extremely challenging routine. But I need constant persistence and prayers. I am just praying to my best friend Jesus, to bear with me and help me X( Hope he would hear… May God bless you all!