Disturbed thoughts…. Part I

It’s been a long time that I have written something over here…. I was busy with my project works and life. After a long gap, I got to speak with you once again. I thank my God for this beautiful chance given 🙂 You must be wondering about the title I had given to a blog post that is been written after a long gap… Yes, you are right, my post is titled as ‘Disturbed emotions’, coz I am sharing the thoughts that disturbed me recently. There are many of them.
I will start with the most recent one. It’s gender equality. I know guys will fret at this word by raising their eyebrows, and girls may smile a bit. I know it’s an age old issue. What made me discuss about it, is the attitude of many men towards the women. I will never ever say attitude of the male race towards the female race, as it will be putting many of my good friends down. I write this to address only those people with this attitude.

I have been reading about the statements made by Mukesh Singh, one of the rapist in the Nirbhaya rape case. Those words ticked my inner soul like many others.  A rapist and a murderer was speaking about the moral of the woman he RAPED, WOUNDED AND MURDERED (well, he is uneducated thing, so there won’t be any surprises about his remarks.) It made me think about the attitude that many of the men has towards women. I am addressing these words only to those men.



So, it was not the evil mind of you and your friends, which decided to trap, injure and kill a woman cruelly, that was responsible. It was not you cruel hearts that decided to touch a woman without her permission, which was FAR MORE responsible?

Again these words are not applicable to the entire male race, coz then I have to condemn the loving men in my life who isaaa willing to even give up their life for us, who loves us and respect us for who we are. Many of them are sweating in the hot sun, staying hungry and protecting their family by giving their life and blood. Many husbands out there, spend months away from their family, which they cherish to the core of their soul. Many fathers out there, cuddle their daughters and protect them from the evil world. Many men out there, support their life partner for her dreams, cherish her soul, protect her with his life and love her to the bottom of his heart. These men don’t have the so-called male-ish ego which says that, only if you rule your woman, you will be called a man. Instead, these men earn RESPECT and LOVE from their women and their family as the “REAL MAN” of the family. I include, my father, many of my uncles, many of my brothers and my friends in this category. I give a big salute and respect to all the real men out there, Know that you are valued, respected, loved and cherished by the women like us 🙂  adios! 🙂


GOD sent me for YOU! :)

Our life is like a grass or bubble, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Yet, we live our life like there is no tomorrow. What if we are called back into eternal glory, and is asked by Someone Almighty about the life that we led in earth? Will the teenage concept “YOLO” come to our mind? Will we regret anything??? Will we regret the moments that were given to us to spread the goodness and love but we didn’t because of selfishness? You and I are culprits of such a thought.

I simply meant… Our life is short. We do not know its end. So Live your life in goodness and love. Spread Godliness, cheerfulness, happiness and helpfulness among each other. Do good when we can.

Be wise and spread the sunshine..

Depended happiness!

Sunday time!! As usual, its our day of dedication to God.. Today, I went to church. I concentrated on the Holy mass, to bring the spirit of God into me and to me fill me with happiness. Nowadays I visit the church to dedicate my lost time and faith to Jesus. Today the church prepared something for me specially. You can say God prepared something for me specially. 🙂 . It was a beautiful session by the youth movement. After the Holy mass, there was a song session and then speeches by a priest and a preacher. I told you before, I never listen to the speeches in church, as I never thought it was anything important. {or maybe I felt it as boring. 😛 . personal disclaimer! er..ok..disclaimer! It is only my and my only belief, you don’t need to grab hold my neck for that!} One or two speeches are etched in my heart. I spoke about one in my previous blog post. The other one I will tell you in the future posts {if I remember 😉 }. So…about today’s speech, before I forget it like a nice dream 😉 let me jot it down for my future reference {and also for your knowledge}.

The priest said, “For experiencing happiness, we used to run to several destinations in life. Some to liquor, some to drugs, some to friends, some to cigarettes, some to fake loves etc.. but whatever we do, those happiness are temporary.” The preacher made it more clear. “The happiness we seek in these, will fade away as soon as these are gone. Therefore, these kind of happiness can be deemed as depended happiness.It struck me. Depended happiness, happiness that is depended which will fade away as soon as the object fades. Isn’t it true? So all my happiness were faded happiness. That is why, I lost my happiness. It may be because I was too depended on my depended happiness. *thinking*

In addition the priest added, “Grow closer to God. Establish your foundation of faith in Him. Only then, you will be able to balance your life.” Start your day with Him and end it with Him. Make Him the beginning of your life. Make Him the start of your activities. You will find Him throughout the day and throughout your day to day activities. Now that is why I am sharing this. Coz, depending your happiness in God will never fade away. It will remain permanantly. 🙂 .

SO..depend your DEPENDED HAPPINESS IN GOD 🙂 happy_face500b34e0afd4bec47a7851a39b462411955

A humble dwelling with exalted love of God.

As I have mentioned in my previous post, ‘His words to me…a walk to Emmaus.’ , Humble dwellings of praise and prayers may often see God. Simply it means, the sincere and simple hearted may often experience the love of Christ.


St. Joseph of Cupertino. He is known as “The flying saint”

Today, I attended a Holy mass in another small church next to my place of residence. I needed to clear the clutter out of my mind, so a walk to Him was necessary for me. This small church was conducting the feast of St. Joseph of Cupertino. I am not a catholic (Disclaimer! : this is my own, very own belief, its is not written to offend any one’s faith! if you feel offended you can discard the reading.) So therefore I don’t celebrate the feasts of many saints. I just went to devote myself before God. I prayed. I poured before Him personally. Told Him what is wrong, asked for divine intervention. I sang the songs with others. The priest and the people was preaching about the power of the saint. I listened to the saint’s story. I have never heard about him, so I was curious. I smiled when the priest said about the saint’s flying power. The priest said that the saint was called a fool in his teen days and was rejected to the seminary due to the lack of his education. That’s when a tiny murmur in my heart whispered, “Those who pray and believe strongly, no matter what and no matter where, God will hear him and answer him. God sees the hearts. He loves the hearts.”

I know from the Bible stories that Jesus has never abandoned those who called upon Him. Those who went behind him and begged Him has always experienced “miracles”. Then why do I worry? when He Himself has told me thousand times NOT TO WORRY. Its only because of my weak faith and frail mind that I am anxious. Whatever I claim to know, isn’t anything without Him in it.

Haven’t you heard? that “The fear of lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Pro: 9:10. Yes, we have to seek and fear God in the beginning, only then true wisdom will begin in your heart (I am speaking out of experience). That is what we lost (You can rather say I lost). I am including a link to some miracles which was believed as happened. But I am stressing onto the last lines written by the author in the link

“Whatever our beliefs are, may we realize and keep in our hearts and mind the Grace and Great Love of God that He sent His only begotten Son Jesus and may we believe and live with Him through entirety.”

And keep in mind: Our hearts are the humble dwellings that God wishes to visit and live. Make sure it is worth dwelling. Coz,



His words to me.. “The walk to Emmaus”

Whenever failure, worries,despair and depression strikes me,  I tend to rely on darkness to destroy me. Yesterday, with this darkness in me I went to the Sunday mass. I was in despair. I bowed down and asked forgiveness. But desperation always took a toll in my life. I want to be heard. But I didn’t move my lips. My eyes spoke for me.Faith

What I loved about this church was, It was a humble dwelling for God. Its just a shed. A small shed with the Altar. It was small and sweet. As I know Jesus dwells in humble dwellings (which is why He selected a manger to be born into this world!) I was sure this small and sweet shed of a church is highly exalted with God. The priest was a man of 25s or something, so I didn’t expect any great speech from him. Usually I don’t expect great speeches from anyone, but sometimes God speaks to me through these speakers. So yesterday when the priest was reading the chapter on “The walk to Emmaus” I didn’t flinch. I was sure that as usual they will read a verse and twist it according to their speech. I was not in a mood to acknowledge. index

BUT. Something between the speech, or you can say the speech itself twisted my head towards the priest. I was looking at him wide eyed. He was talking about how Jesus went with the disciples through their dark moments, how He was explaining the situation and after solving how He was going to go away when they invited Him to dinner. The priest said “Through your dark moments you tend to travel only in darkness. Sometimes you may not know that He is walking with you. After solving your problems, He may tend to walk His journey. BUT. When you invite Him to your heart, He will be there, dwelling inside your heart, being the light you lost.”

It ticked me. I was surprised at the ways He speak to me. He finds His own way. Today morning with less despair, I opened wordpress and yes, there it was…This is what I saw “Be still, and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10. The writer’s words followed “Trust God know that He can handle any burdens in your life, but you must trust and obey; because there is no other way!”

Thank you God 🙂 I love you! 🙂

What is your spiritual belief?

Well, through my spiritual journey in life, I came across many things in the beliefs of people. I have seen people fight and die in the name of religion and naming it as “war of God.” I have seen the people in the boundaries of religion having narrow heads in thinking. Well, the world has trillions of people and each individual have his/her own journey and story. Each individual will have his/her own beliefs taught by life.A.rel

What I want to blurt out is, religion has nothing to do with God. As I am a christian and was walking my christian journey, I will talk about what I see in my religion. Christianity has various sub castes and each subcaste has different modes of worship. But the basic of all sub castes include just one thing “The Holy bread and wine” which is considered as the body of Jesus Christ. These subcastes have lots of rules and regulations. Many of them seemed good to me in the spiritual journey, but many of them deemed going overboard and spiritually useless. These sub caste point fingers at each other telling that their mode of worship is the “righteous” spiritual journey.index

I will tell you what I have experienced in life. It don’t matter which way you worship. But if you POUR OUT YOUR HEART in front of and TRUST HIM, He will do His work in you. If you establish your FAITH in Him. If you LOVE HIM, CARE HIM, then you can see His hand everywhere in your life. This is what Jesus loves, pure heart like children or babies, innocence of the soul which is beautiful as a white dove. God looks at the heart and soul, rather than you fake modes of worship. Your true worship is directed by your heart and soul.

Do you know why Jesus loved children and babies? Because, they are the most beautiful creation of God.They are the little people who are innocent at heart and have eyes full of colors and love. They don’t know anything but to love. Their smile is enough to make your soul happy. That is why they are loved by Him. that is why Jesus told in the bible to be like them inorder to have the Kingdom of God. So ” be wise like the fox, and innocent like the baby” and live life to the fullest! 🙂


What I call true love..

I am true believer of true love. I believe wholeheartedly in God. I believe Jesus came down to earth humbled Himself and died for us. I call that selfless love. aa

I am not here to talk about the depth of His love, because we know that the vastness and depth of the ocean cannot be measured. GOD’S LOVE IS IMMEASURABLE. I am here to show you how to love your “the one person” in your life in His way. God’s love was selfless. No matter how much ever the Israelites tested Him and tried Him, He continued loving them. He forgave them freely. When they went overboard in rejecting Him, He came down to the earth and got crucified for them. That’s what I call selfless love. Now tell me, how many of us loves like this? How many of us love atleast our life partners in this way? God clearly mentioned in the Holy Bible about monogamous love.

I am going to talk about that kind of love. The concept of “The one person” in your life. The concept that shows where one person is everything in your life, that you never have to search anymore. All you can see in this dirty world is that either love is physical, or people doesn’t believe in concept of “one true love” They try their luck with various partners and end up having a dog beside them at their death bed. We rarely see the strong,deep and everlasting love which is towards the acperson’s heart and soul. Rather we see love that is towards body, money, fame, buisness etc.. Such kind of love never lasted. You can take the count of love that is deeply bonded and the love that lasted. Its with those people who loved each other’s heart and stayed through all the thick and thin of life. In our Indian culture I see marriage as a business between two families rather than love between two souls. That doesn’t mean, I support love marriages here, coz I have also seen failure in the latter’s case. Love that happens between two souls and two hearts is what I call true love. Such love can never be replaced by any other person in the world. It can only fulfilled by one heart and soul. That is what I have looking for my entire life. 🙂 {Such love will be more beautiful if you include the Heavenly Power in it 🙂 }

Recently I got to see an Indian movie that fascinated me. It is a telugu movie called “Manam” which means “Us” in english. Keeping aside the business side of the movie, I am going to talk about what captured me in the story. The story is about rebirth of two couples, who was unable to love in their past lives. {Hindu scriptures believe in the concept of different lives} It is about how God is giving chance to the two couples to reincarnate their love. The first couple loved each other so much, They were arranged to marry. So they abknew each other only after marriage. Misunderstandings aroused between them and they used to fight every day. Atlast they both came to a point of split up. After filing for the divorce, the husband realized that the wife was fighting with him due to pure misunderstanding of betrayal. That is when the wife uttered her last words “Its better to die; than to divorce”. They suddenly met up with an accident where the wife died on spot. The husband hugs her and cries that he couldn’t live without her and his child. A lorry appears from nowhere. The husband sees it, kisses his wife’s cheek and hugs her, preparing himself to die with her. The car was hit and it blasted. That was the end of their lives. Here only towards the end their true love for each other was revealed. The part ends with the tagline “That is why God gives some a second chance in life to love.” As they enter their second life, the husband tells the wife that it’s better forgive their mistakes than forget the pure love between them. That is what caught me up. That’s why I am sharing this story. There is no true love in the world without ups and down. But if the couple loves each other purely, honesty, trust and forgivable attitude is enough to fight the misunderstandings between them. True love survives. Its better to love one person truly through your heart and soul rather going with many people and ending with no one. Love can come in any form. But if it is true, then never let it go.

I am just concluding this post with the line of the husband in the story. “If there is love between two people, then mistakes can be forgiven.” Never forget the pure love between you people. 🙂


What, the world of today lack.


I had published a previous blog regarding the power of prayer. However, I didn’t find any serious response to it. Perhaps, I expected too much. May be the title didn’t grab any interesting attention as people of today are busy with their fingertip technology. They least bother about the Almighty. When a tide strike their life, they interestingly question, “Where is God?” “Does He really exist?”. These doubts will result in doubts, lack of faith, questions of existence in God, and convertion from one religion to another. Such people think that “religion” has something to do with it. Even “there-is-no-God-up-above” is also a religion. What such people should understand is that, what you believe is what you get. If you don’t believe, you don’t get. “you can’t please God without faith.” If you read the Bible you will find this. Maybe, out of the belief of people who love you, God will forgive and work patiently on you.

Today, I saw a good post regarding trust, there a line caught my attention.

The people of today may appear to be luke-warm, uncaring or unbelieving. We need to ensure that we do not become casual about God ourselves. He is still the Almighty God, the Maker of heaven and earth, and of all that is seen and unseen. And one day, as the prophet reminds us,

“the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.” (Isaiah 40:5)

A great danger for us today is that we can forget what God is like. So rather than “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalm 111:10) we subject Him to our scrutiny, limit Him to our understanding and submerge Him beneath our fears and concerns.

The world today is paving a path of wrong, and if you point out that to them, they are not able to understand. They lack love and they distinguish moral and ethical values as “old school” and “the modern era”

People in “old school” tend to be boring, and easy-to-be-taken-advantage of fools. These are the ones who support morals, discipline in life. They are the ones who support “monogamous love” and “believe in the holy scriptures”. Sometimes, they will be called narrow minded (I agree, narrow mindednes is there.) The people in “modern era” are those beautiful ones who often use the curse words which may be, sometimes, censored in movies, or represented in astrixes ‘*’ in well honored publications. They are “broad minded” and “raw”.

Well, I am really sorry to speak out this openly. But, I have to say, God created the good and wicked alike. I believe this is true, because there are millions of miracles that are recorded each and everytime all around the world. If you speak scientifically, they will be named as “medical miracles” in case of diseases or terminal illness. Some may just  happily describe it as “a beautiful miracle” .When one part of the world questions “Where is God?”  God, shows Himself in forms of miracles to the other part who call upon Him. This was often proved true. If you don’t believe, search around the internet or magazines for this. He will never abandon those who call upon HIM. Miracles are given to those who strongly believe.




Experience the power of prayer!

After reading a lot of blogs regarding prayer, I thought I would emphasize on the power of prayer. First I will show you certain links that I stumbled upon, while researching this quest of mine.

prayWell, I know this is a bit long list. But I want to ensure that you get the right impression and can practice what I try to show. 🙂 . Nowadays, I feel that our faith is growing weak, and prayers are growing poor. It can be because of the advent of technology on our fingertips! I can feel the growing problems in every houses. I cannot give the exact reason why bad things happen to good people. But I can tell something that can help you. My father has often told me, that the only solution to his loneliness in the gulf deserts in years of 1980 were his prayers. In the times of his helplessness with his new family and a new baby (me! 🙂 ), he often looked above. He has told me that not a prayer of his, that has been prayed in great faith, has left unanswered. I should point out that the great wealth of our family is our prayers 🙂 1491719_583798611718690_2885240096255170997_n

No one can please God, without immense faith, is what is told in the christian scriptures. “If you trust in the Lord, you are safe. Pro29:25” “Do not fear; I will help you, Isa 41:13″ These are the words from the Holy Bible given by God himself. Throughout the Holy Bible God has given us this promise! Even if you explore outside the Holy Book, You can see faith in the universe as the important part. They say that if you have faith in universe, You can get where you want to be. Or more importantly, faith in yourself, (you might have heard that!), can help you to get where you want to be. They all are speaking about one thing. FAITH. that’s the simple thing even God  told us. He just twisted it in a more better way “Have faith in Me!” is what he was telling throughout the scripture. Have FAITH IN HIM AND HE WILL LEAD THE WAY. To test the faith, you can see him giving lots of trials to the believers the Holy Bible. When they overcame the trials, they were rewarded in abundance for their endurance.

A lot of negative thoughts have been swirling inside my head for a long time. I confess that I have personally witnessed my Lord’s help a lot of  time, when things were going wrong for me, STILL I was under doubt. I wrote this post to myself and people like me, who needs constant support and encouragement. I want to let you know, if you cry out to him sincerely with your broken heart, none of your prayers will go unanswered. I remember my dad’s words from an old e-mail of his “Pray to God sincerely, and he  show you the way. he show your future ahead. he wrote in his broken english. Those words touched my heart deeply.

This is perhaps an important post of mine. I wanted to write these thoughts long back. I never saw an opportunity to bring it forefront. Now I gave this thoughts to you in the hope that it will be reached, read, grasped and meditated by you! Hope I will be able to fulfill that quest 🙂


My message from above.

feeling-guiltyI was feeling guilty when I woke up in the morning, for the person I am and I was. I was feeling guilty about the darker part in me and the demons that rule me. Sometimes our thoughts may take us to darker and deeper pitches of the world. I have experienced adventure with my thoughts and my lonely moments. I traveled to different parts of the world through the books and the media around. I have felt various emotions of the poor, rich, the money minded, babies, the greedy, the selfish, the ruthful and so on. The list never ends. Sometimes I know the beautiful heart of the pure minded and I feel proud of myself. But the other times, my mind takes me to pitches I never even want to explore. I told you before in my first post, I am here to explore a side of me that was never looked upon. I am here to explore a side that was quietened within me.

As I was feeling guilty with myself, I needed something to help me out from the prison I was in. I wanted to free myself from the chains that bound me. The chains of sin and guilty thoughts. chan

Well, sin is something that is within all of us. We are not one hundred percent perfect. I agree, we are mere humans. But I was taking myself away from the sinful self, I am bringing myself to the spiritual world. As the baby takes its first steps, I took mine, fell down and hurt myself. I was disappointed. I thought I can never free myself from the darkness. That’s when I came across this beautiful message. I was delighted! I thank the “Softly spoke river” for such beautiful and concise messages 🙂 . It was an answer to my guilt-ridden heart. I can say, it was a message from above. It was about  practicing your new character. You fall and fail, but never mind, with sheer determination ( and faith) you can overcome the older self.

Last few weeks I came across many stuffs. I will share them to you in my future posts (if God wills! 🙂 ) I am stopping for now. I just wanted to share my happiness and message to you, therefore it can help you. If at all this can help anyone of you, then I am so obliged! 🙂