“That woman..” song from secret garden

Recently I watched a Korean drama. I loved it ๐Ÿ™‚ I loved the songs. Here I am sharing one of the songs from the drama “Secret Garden”. If you liked this, I will share the other songs too ๐Ÿ˜€ [ Now, guys will pick pebbles to throw at me!] So ladies…here we go!! to all the Korean drama lovers out there CHEERS! ๐Ÿ˜€

The meaning of the lyrics:

THAT WOMAN

“One woman loves you
She loves you with all her heart
Everyday she follows you like a shadow
She is laughing but cryingl
How much more How much more
Must I gaze at you like this alone
This meaningless love, this miserable love
Must I continue for you to love me
Come closer a little bit more
When I takeย a step closer, you run away with both feet
I who loves you, even now Iโ€™m at your side
That woman is crying
That woman is very timid
So she learnt how to laugh
There are so many things she cannot tell her closest friend
That womanโ€™s heart is full of tears
So that woman said she
loved you because you were the same
Another fool, another fool
Wonโ€™t you hug me once before you go
I want to be loved, my dear
Everyday in my heart, in my heart
I shout out
That woman is beside you even today
Do you know that woman is me
Donโ€™t tell me you know and are doing this to me
But you wonโ€™t know because my dear, youโ€™re a fool
How much more How much more
Must I gaze at you like this alone
Thisย foolish love, this miserable love
Must I continue for you to love me
Come closer a little bit more
When I take a step closer, you run away with both feet”

๐Ÿ™‚

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Depended happiness!

Sunday time!! As usual, its our day of dedication to God.. Today, I went to church. I concentrated on the Holy mass, to bring the spirit of God into me and to me fill me with happiness. Nowadays I visit the church to dedicate my lost time and faith to Jesus. Today the church prepared something for me specially. You can say God prepared something for me specially. ๐Ÿ™‚ . It was a beautiful session by the youth movement. After the Holy mass, there was a song session and then speeches by a priest and a preacher. I told you before, I never listen to the speeches in church, as I never thought it was anything important. {or maybe I felt it as boring. ๐Ÿ˜› . personal disclaimer! er..ok..disclaimer! It is only my and my only belief, you don’t need to grab hold my neck for that!} One or two speeches are etched in my heart. I spoke about one in my previous blog post. The other one I will tell you in the future posts {if I remember ๐Ÿ˜‰ }. So…about today’s speech, before I forget it like a nice dream ๐Ÿ˜‰ let me jot it down for my future reference {and also for your knowledge}.

The priest said, “For experiencing happiness, we used to run to several destinations in life. Some to liquor, some to drugs, some to friends, some to cigarettes, some to fake loves etc.. but whatever we do, those happiness are temporary.” The preacher made it more clear. “The happiness we seek in these, will fade away as soon as these are gone. Therefore, these kind of happiness can be deemed as depended happiness.It struck me. Depended happiness, happiness that is depended which will fade away as soon as the object fades. Isn’t it true? So all my happiness were faded happiness. That is why, I lost my happiness. It may be because I was too depended on my depended happiness. *thinking*

In addition the priest added, “Grow closer to God. Establish your foundation of faith in Him. Only then, you will be able to balance your life.” Start your day with Him and end it with Him. Make Him the beginning of your life. Make Him the start of your activities. You will find Him throughout the day and throughout your day to day activities. Now that is why I am sharing this. Coz, depending your happiness in God will never fade away. It will remain permanantly. ๐Ÿ™‚ .

SO..depend your DEPENDED HAPPINESS IN GOD ๐Ÿ™‚ happy_face500b34e0afd4bec47a7851a39b462411955

A humble dwelling with exalted love of God.

As I have mentioned in my previous post, ‘His words to me…a walk to Emmaus.’ , Humble dwellings of praise and prayers may often see God. Simply it means, the sincere and simple hearted may often experience the love of Christ.

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St. Joseph of Cupertino. He is known as “The flying saint”

Today, I attended a Holy mass in another small church next to my place of residence. I needed to clear the clutter out of my mind, so a walk to Him was necessary for me. This small church was conducting the feast of St. Joseph of Cupertino. I am not a catholic (Disclaimer! : this is my own, very own belief, its is not written to offend any one’s faith! if you feel offended you can discard the reading.) So therefore I don’t celebrate the feasts of many saints. I just went to devote myself before God. I prayed. I poured before Him personally. Told Him what is wrong, asked for divine intervention. I sang the songs with others. The priest and the people was preaching about the power of the saint. I listened to the saint’s story. I have never heard about him, so I was curious. I smiled when the priest said about the saint’s flying power. The priest said that the saint was called a fool in his teen days and was rejected to the seminary due to the lack of his education. That’s when a tiny murmur in my heart whispered, “Those who pray and believe strongly, no matter what and no matter where, God will hear him and answer him. God sees the hearts. He loves the hearts.”

I know from the Bible stories that Jesus has never abandoned those who called upon Him. Those who went behind him and begged Him has always experienced “miracles”. Then why do I worry? when He Himself has told me thousand times NOT TO WORRY. Its only because of my weak faith and frail mind that I am anxious. Whatever I claim to know, isn’t anything without Him in it.

Haven’t you heard? that “The fear of lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Pro: 9:10. Yes, we have to seek and fear God in the beginning, only then true wisdom will begin in your heart (I am speaking out of experience). That is what we lost (You can rather say I lost). I am including a link to some miracles which was believed as happened. But I am stressing onto the last lines written by the author in the link

“Whatever our beliefs are, may we realize and keep in our hearts and mind the Grace and Great Love of God that He sent His only begotten Son Jesus and may we believe and live with Him through entirety.”

And keep in mind: Our hearts are the humble dwellings that God wishes to visit and live. Make sure it is worth dwelling. Coz,

ย ย  GOD SEES THE HEARTS!

 

The LoVE we LoST .to. the LuST.in us..

Prayer restores our inner lost soul, so never cease praying!

Prayer restores our inner lost soul, so never cease praying!

We lost the purity of love. We really lost the way to love purely. Each of us have encountered love in our own way. Whether it is through our better half or through the people around us. Each of us gives love according to the goodness in us. I should say or rather point out, that this goodness in us is starting to diminish.

This goodness in us have been taken over by evil in us. In case of love, the evil in us is LUST. The lust over body. The greed for money and power. These has replaced the pure love in us. True love in our heart has abandoned us, due to the occupation of the vacant space in our heart by lust.

Do you want to know why? Coz we lost God’s presence in us. God is love.

God is omnipresent. He is merciful. He is willing to forgive and forget coz HE IS LOVE. Now why am I speaking these words? It is because I happen to stumble upon something. And as usual it opened my inner eyes. Here it goes:

1 John 4:8
He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [never did know Him], for God is love.

Love can be seen, it cannot be hid. If you LOVE it will SHOW! No matter how much you try to hide love, you just will not be successful. Love is so powerful that it has to be MANIFEST.

LOVE without HOLINESS is not love but lust!

Love is not a suggestion, in fact itโ€™s a commandment. Love is the essence of a transparent godly character. Love is so awesome that when we exercise love, love begins to flood out of our spirit, soul and body.

When the LOVE of God is present in our lives, it enables and encourages us to be pure, it releases purity.

2 Timothy 2:22
Shun youthful lusts and flee from them and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace in fellowship with all, who call upon the Lord out of a pure heart.

Holiness is connected with Love, and when we make the connection, we will be able to live a HOLY life filled with the LOVE of God.

Listen to your soul. For it cries out to you. Listen the pain in your soul. For it needs love and wants to give love. Then who are we to stop it?

Light allows us to see things clearly, when begin to walk in the Light of Christ, we allow the light to shine on us and through us. The light shows us stuff that needs to be cleared out of our lives so that the brilliance of the light might shine out unhindered.

Without knowing God first, You cannot know pure love. No matter how much ever you claim to know!

A.

Let our love be of God, heart and soul rather than body. Let it be eternal. Let it remain forever! Let it never change!

I write.to.express me…

When I write, I bear my soul. I cleanse my mind. I expose my inner thought world and in that way, I expose my inner self as well.

That’s why I write.:). To relieve the pain inside, to share the message I get from God and life, to help people I encounter, (If I can inspire them with my writings ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) to cleanse my soul and most importantly to balance myself.

Or else I would keep the clutters in my mind, thinking it over and over again, without speaking it out and I may lose my state of mind. Writing has helped me a lot in maintaining my mental and physical sate of balance. Opening up the views of my inner soul means a lot. Yet, it clears the mind to think more. While I re-read my writings, I get hope and positive energy to pursue in my life. So you can deem it as an helpful gift from above.

I write coz, I talk a lot. While I talk I share my ideas and views with my best friends. I feel more people need to know them. Coz that’s the way I wish to inspire the broken hearted. I write coz there’s lot in me to be said. I write coz I love to share my views and my heart. I wish that one day I would put these words to actions. Thereby I may relieve my purpose bestowed upon me by the Heavenly one. “To smile, love, share and help”

sat-writing

 

His words to me.. “The walk to Emmaus”

Whenever failure, worries,despair and depression strikes me,ย  I tend to rely on darkness to destroy me. Yesterday, with this darkness in me I went to the Sunday mass. I was in despair. I bowed down and asked forgiveness. But desperation always took a toll in my life. I want to be heard. But I didn’t move my lips. My eyes spoke for me.Faith

What I loved about this church was, It was a humble dwelling for God. Its just a shed. A small shed with the Altar. It was small and sweet. As I know Jesus dwells in humble dwellings (which is why He selected a manger to be born into this world!) I was sure this small and sweet shed of a church is highly exalted with God. The priest was a man of 25s or something, so I didn’t expect any great speech from him. Usually I don’t expect great speeches from anyone, but sometimes God speaks to me through these speakers. So yesterday when the priest was reading the chapter on “The walk to Emmaus” I didn’t flinch. I was sure that as usual they will read a verse and twist it according to their speech. I was not in a mood to acknowledge. index

BUT. Something between the speech, or you can say the speech itself twisted my head towards the priest. I was looking at him wide eyed. He was talking about how Jesus went with the disciples through their dark moments, how He was explaining the situation and after solving how He was going to go away when they invited Him to dinner. The priest said “Through your dark moments you tend to travel only in darkness. Sometimes you may not know that He is walking with you. After solving your problems, He may tend to walk His journey. BUT. When you invite Him to your heart, He will be there, dwelling inside your heart, being the light you lost.”

It ticked me. I was surprised at the ways He speak to me. He finds His own way. Today morning with less despair, I opened wordpress and yes, there it was…This is what I saw “Be still, and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10. The writer’s words followed “Trust God know that He can handle any burdens in your life, but you must trust and obey; because there is no other way!”

Thank you God ๐Ÿ™‚ I love you! ๐Ÿ™‚

That only ONE love in your ONE life!

Lots of thoughts were crossing my mind. I had lots of time to think. Coz, my second year project was being nowhere. Before I get busy, I thought I would spend time to ‘express’ through my beautiful space. I was scourging through the word press blogs to find something beautiful and share my viewpoints

perfumed!

perfumed!

regarding it. And I found this, someone was talking about their failed relationships, about thinking that talking with certain people will establish a future with them. At the beginning of the post I saw that person ranting about a ‘friend’ with whom she grew comfortable. She thought it might be ‘the future’. She writes about the short time spent talking and how she grew excited.Towards the middle, we learn that this writer have always been walked upon. The guy she was hanging out with, had no intention of clinging onto her. Then at last we can see misunderstandings arising between them, and she calling him the worst guy she ever met.(*smiles* ๐Ÿ™‚ )

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It has pain.. no one told it was easy, But its worth fighting for!

This is what is happening around us nowadays. Someone sees someone other, foolishly believe that they can be something in their life and then, they realize they are in the wrong boat and tries to smash the boat they are in, to escape. What is going wrong over here? Its simple. Sometimes our brain foolishly ‘takes in‘ the ‘symptoms‘ that could possibly presumed as ‘love’ and then go for it. When our heart and guts whisper “no”, we don’t seem to hear it. We foolishly go in for the ‘symptoms’.

When I was a child, I knew nothing about love. I just knew the love between parents and children, love between best friends etc.. When I entered the teenage, surprisingly, I came to know that beautiful feeling of love. Its not through any people I know. It was through my beautiful and remarkable IMAGINATIONย  world! The world where “My Expressions” was born. :). I believed in one true love then. The love that just comes once in life and be yours forever in your life! That was my concept of love (and still is). I knew that when it comes, it would stir something in me, and I would feel happy with it. I would feel really happy with the person. I had my own beautiful concept about love.true-love-quotes-and-pictures-5

My past kind of life was action, games, books (regarding mystery and adventure) and cousins! (brothers most often). You can say, I was not at all into anything or any stuff regarding romance. My one-person-forever concept always remained silent in me. I always LOVED crime thrillers. Romance often bored me. Strangely, little did I know that I am deeply a romantic inside. I, myself, never knew what kind of love I had inside me. ( But I remember speaking about the one person concept to my teen friends, who was not feeling anything great about it then.) I realized that I had a deep romantic in me, when I read the first book on love. Well, don’t laugh at me, but the first love story I read was ‘Twilight’ ๐Ÿ˜‰ Credits to my li’l sis, who introduced it. ( We both are avid readers and our tastes remain the same!). I was curious about her interest in that book, (I knew she was like me) which is why I read it, otherwise I wouldn’t even have glanced it.

always inside the heart

Always inside the heart!

While reading the book, strangely I fell in love with the romance that they were talking about. and, as you can call it, I became its avid fan ๐Ÿ˜‰ ( and no, I am not the fan of Robert Pattinson or any other actors in the film for that matter.) It was the love, characters, their confusions, their kindness, their regret, their deep pain, the time they spent with each other and towards the end, how they were surviving the surroundings around them that threatened their love. That was when I realized what I was in love. That’s when I saw the lover in me. My closest friends call it ‘living-the-life-of-bella-swan’ ๐Ÿ˜‰ I used to narrate the story to my best friend and she too loved it. I didn’t appreciate the film. Maybe it was nowhere near to the imaginary world I lived in those days.

Now, I watch the romantic movies, with the concept of strong bonded, deeply knitted ONE TRUE LOVE. Not the one that gives you butterflies in the stomach, but the one that jolts your inner soul and refresh it. In such kind of love, no matter how much they fight, they tend to get together at last, coz it was the heart, mind and soul of the person, that is loved. That cannot be replaced by any other person in the world. It can be only given by ONE. And it is a beautiful feel inside the soul to love that ONE. A love where there is no rules and regulations, but just love ๐Ÿ™‚ …ย 

And I have always waited for it ๐Ÿ™‚

nice-true-love-quotes-3-fa756

And I gave the choice to God.. Coz He will never be wrong! ๐Ÿ™‚

{P.s: It was during that time I loved a song by Enrique..and it is titled like this, “Taking back my love” ๐Ÿ™‚ Watch it. If you haven’t seen it yet}

The battlefield inside my head and soul..

Again I fell down in my spiritual journey. I don’t know what to tell my God. I just look up and cross my fingers. I haven’t been anywhere in life. I have experienced failures. I failed the battlefield inside my head and soul.. sigh!

Today while scourging through the word press posts, I came across some lines in a post it goes like this

The process of stepping out of routine, taking a leap of faith, and breaking habits is extremely challenging and takes more self-discipline than the decision to make the change; it is an hourly, daily exercise in faith and intentionality.

Taking a leap of faith and break of habits—-> requires self discipline, hard work, determination and persistence from my part. To speak frankly, I lack the above qualities. I write over here, to make myself realize that I need to go more. I wanted to remind myself and people like me that we haven’t reached anywhere. When I look back, I feel I have lost myself. My past had darkness and brightness within itself. I think I have brought forth the darkness and lost the brightness. Now I am immersed in darkness. Thoughts like I-have-lost-myself, I-am-good-for-nothing disturb my head each and everyday. Mostly I-am-a-complete-failure occupy my thoughts nowadays. So I guess those lines were written for me, by Someone above. I am trying to take this extremely challenging routine. But I need constant persistence and prayers. I am just praying to my best friend Jesus, to bear with me and help me X( Hope he would hear… May God bless you all!

battle-lost

What is your spiritual belief?

Well, through my spiritual journey in life, I came across many things in the beliefs of people. I have seen people fight and die in the name of religion and naming it as “war of God.” I have seen the people in the boundaries of religion having narrow heads in thinking. Well, the world has trillions of people and each individual have his/her own journey and story. Each individual will have his/her own beliefs taught by life.A.rel

What I want to blurt out is, religion has nothing to do with God. As I am a christian and was walking my christian journey, I will talk about what I see in my religion. Christianity has various sub castes and each subcaste has different modes of worship. But the basic of all sub castes include just one thing “The Holy bread and wine” which is considered as the body of Jesus Christ. These subcastes have lots of rules and regulations. Many of them seemed good to me in the spiritual journey, but many of them deemed going overboard and spiritually useless. These sub caste point fingers at each other telling that their mode of worship is the “righteous” spiritual journey.index

I will tell you what I have experienced in life. It don’t matter which way you worship. But if you POUR OUT YOUR HEART in front of and TRUST HIM, He will do His work in you. If you establish your FAITH in Him. If you LOVE HIM, CARE HIM, then you can see His hand everywhere in your life. This is what Jesus loves, pure heart like children or babies, innocence of the soul which is beautiful as a white dove. God looks at the heart and soul, rather than you fake modes of worship. Your true worship is directed by your heart and soul.

Do you know why Jesus loved children and babies? Because, they are the most beautiful creation of God.They are the little people who are innocent at heart and have eyes full of colors and love. They don’t know anything but to love. Their smile is enough to make your soul happy. That is why they are loved by Him. that is why Jesus told in the bible to be like them inorder to have the Kingdom of God. So ” be wise like the fox, and innocent like the baby” and live life to the fullest! ๐Ÿ™‚

babies

The masked heart of gold :)

Only recently I came across an old korean drama of 2009 namely “Boys over flowers”. Can imagine what happened next right? ๐Ÿ˜‰ Yes, I fell in love with the drama series ๐Ÿ˜€ But unlike all other drama sick drama lovers {Note: ๐Ÿ˜‰ } I am not going to ramble sickeningly mad over the series. Its just the characters that I like to point out.A2

As usual the story is about “a charming prince falling in love with a poor girl.” Yes, and as usual, girls will fall heads over heels in love with the “charming prince” in the story. Then {as usual} they tend to compare them with their real life princes, and tend to get pushy with their guys. ๐Ÿ˜› . Guys will point out that such people will only exist in fairy tales not in real lives. Yea, I do agree, sometimes it can only exist in fairy tales, but sometimes it can be also real ๐Ÿ™‚ . And girls! for your A4information, if the girl like “Geum Jan di”[main heroine] who is not obsessed with her rich boyfriend’s plutocracy and fame exists, then guys like “Gu Jun Pyo” will exist. Here, what the lady fell for in the guy is not his money or fame, but his masked heart of gold {or you can say his childish heart}. ๐Ÿ™‚ . That was the same thing that made me love the lead guy.

That is what I am going to speak about here ๐Ÿ™‚ As I am a woman, I am going to speak about that lead guy.

Gu Jun Pyo is the leader of F4 as well as the heir to the Shinhwa Group, one of the most powerful business groups in South Korea. Raised by his older sister and servants as his parents tend to be overwhelmingly busy, he grew up an arrogant and conceited person who believed that there was nothing that could not be done with money. Deep down, however, he has a heart of gold that cannot be easily expressed due to his constant masking his loneliness and his craving for familial attention with pride and conceit.a3

Jun Pyo’s perspective changes when a transfer student to Shinhwa High named Geum Jan Di challenges his beliefs. Jan Di absolutely despises the notorious F4 and all that it stands for. One day Jan Di and her only friend in the school is eating ice cream when her friend trips and drops her ice cream on Jun Pyo’s shoe. He is upset that his shoe is ruined and demands that she lick it off her shoe. Jan Di steps in and defends her friend by shoving her ice cream in Jun Pyo’s face. From that day onward, Jun Pyo cannot get Jan Di out of his head since she is so unlike the other students in the school.

This is a review I found about the character. Notice what I have high-lighted in Ared. Yes, I marked what attracted me the most. Outwardly he was said to be a cruel personality harming the weak students, hurting people with his words, and feeling no regret for his actions and words. As he was damn rich, famous and handsome, girls used to go crazy over him {even though he acted damn cold and hurt people with words, I really did wondered whether those foolish girls planned to endure such torture forever in their life} But, what brought smiles to my face was that, his heart of gold couldA not be locked safe in the vault forever. :). It was opened by our heroine, who was the only girl that he fell heads over heels. She was the key to the vault. Now tell me guys, When you find such sincere women in your life who opens your heart that you hid for years, won’t you really do everything in your power to protect and provide for her? ๐Ÿ™‚ will you ever let her go, when it is really the hardest? You can see such aspects in the serial, how Jun Pyo was forced to let go of the woman he loved and the woman who was everything in his life. You can see his inner conflicts and helplessness of not being with the person he wanted to be with. Even now, would you say, that A1such guys are not real? then you are a different man or you have not experienced that real love. This indeed became the reality side of the drama ๐Ÿ™‚ And that’s what I loved here ๐Ÿ™‚

A1A2