The battlefield inside my head and soul..

Again I fell down in my spiritual journey. I don’t know what to tell my God. I just look up and cross my fingers. I haven’t been anywhere in life. I have experienced failures. I failed the battlefield inside my head and soul.. sigh!

Today while scourging through the word press posts, I came across some lines in a post it goes like this

The process of stepping out of routine, taking a leap of faith, and breaking habits is extremely challenging and takes more self-discipline than the decision to make the change; it is an hourly, daily exercise in faith and intentionality.

Taking a leap of faith and break of habits—-> requires self discipline, hard work, determination and persistence from my part. To speak frankly, I lack the above qualities. I write over here, to make myself realize that I need to go more. I wanted to remind myself and people like me that we haven’t reached anywhere. When I look back, I feel I have lost myself. My past had darkness and brightness within itself. I think I have brought forth the darkness and lost the brightness. Now I am immersed in darkness. Thoughts like I-have-lost-myself, I-am-good-for-nothing disturb my head each and everyday. Mostly I-am-a-complete-failure occupy my thoughts nowadays. So I guess those lines were written for me, by Someone above. I am trying to take this extremely challenging routine. But I need constant persistence and prayers. I am just praying to my best friend Jesus, to bear with me and help me X( Hope he would hear… May God bless you all!

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What is your spiritual belief?

Well, through my spiritual journey in life, I came across many things in the beliefs of people. I have seen people fight and die in the name of religion and naming it as “war of God.” I have seen the people in the boundaries of religion having narrow heads in thinking. Well, the world has trillions of people and each individual have his/her own journey and story. Each individual will have his/her own beliefs taught by life.A.rel

What I want to blurt out is, religion has nothing to do with God. As I am a christian and was walking my christian journey, I will talk about what I see in my religion. Christianity has various sub castes and each subcaste has different modes of worship. But the basic of all sub castes include just one thing “The Holy bread and wine” which is considered as the body of Jesus Christ. These subcastes have lots of rules and regulations. Many of them seemed good to me in the spiritual journey, but many of them deemed going overboard and spiritually useless. These sub caste point fingers at each other telling that their mode of worship is the “righteous” spiritual journey.index

I will tell you what I have experienced in life. It don’t matter which way you worship. But if you POUR OUT YOUR HEART in front of and TRUST HIM, He will do His work in you. If you establish your FAITH in Him. If you LOVE HIM, CARE HIM, then you can see His hand everywhere in your life. This is what Jesus loves, pure heart like children or babies, innocence of the soul which is beautiful as a white dove. God looks at the heart and soul, rather than you fake modes of worship. Your true worship is directed by your heart and soul.

Do you know why Jesus loved children and babies? Because, they are the most beautiful creation of God.They are the little people who are innocent at heart and have eyes full of colors and love. They don’t know anything but to love. Their smile is enough to make your soul happy. That is why they are loved by Him. that is why Jesus told in the bible to be like them inorder to have the Kingdom of God. So ” be wise like the fox, and innocent like the baby” and live life to the fullest! 🙂

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My blank heart

I don’t have any words to tell you this time. A blog is about writing what you feel, and my blog is exclusively about my expressions of my soul.But…today, I feel wordless or speechless. I feel sad, partly due to innocent suffering people in the world and partly due to the blank heart in me. If you ask me the reason…I will only look down without saying anything. Coz I am sad. I am really sad. My brain will give a hundreds of pointless reasons, but my heart will give you a blank murmer. I don’t have the words to express the blankness in me. Allow me to weep and feel sad. Allow me to express. Allow me to feel.{If you allow me more, I may feel helpless, worthless and depressed 😉 } I just want my blankness to be heard….so I am writing….My blank heart…glass__lucent_heart_by_raingarden1.jpg

And there is nothing to write…coz its blank 😦

Just blank…….

 

Experience the power of prayer!

After reading a lot of blogs regarding prayer, I thought I would emphasize on the power of prayer. First I will show you certain links that I stumbled upon, while researching this quest of mine.

prayWell, I know this is a bit long list. But I want to ensure that you get the right impression and can practice what I try to show. 🙂 . Nowadays, I feel that our faith is growing weak, and prayers are growing poor. It can be because of the advent of technology on our fingertips! I can feel the growing problems in every houses. I cannot give the exact reason why bad things happen to good people. But I can tell something that can help you. My father has often told me, that the only solution to his loneliness in the gulf deserts in years of 1980 were his prayers. In the times of his helplessness with his new family and a new baby (me! 🙂 ), he often looked above. He has told me that not a prayer of his, that has been prayed in great faith, has left unanswered. I should point out that the great wealth of our family is our prayers 🙂 1491719_583798611718690_2885240096255170997_n

No one can please God, without immense faith, is what is told in the christian scriptures. “If you trust in the Lord, you are safe. Pro29:25” “Do not fear; I will help you, Isa 41:13″ These are the words from the Holy Bible given by God himself. Throughout the Holy Bible God has given us this promise! Even if you explore outside the Holy Book, You can see faith in the universe as the important part. They say that if you have faith in universe, You can get where you want to be. Or more importantly, faith in yourself, (you might have heard that!), can help you to get where you want to be. They all are speaking about one thing. FAITH. that’s the simple thing even God  told us. He just twisted it in a more better way “Have faith in Me!” is what he was telling throughout the scripture. Have FAITH IN HIM AND HE WILL LEAD THE WAY. To test the faith, you can see him giving lots of trials to the believers the Holy Bible. When they overcame the trials, they were rewarded in abundance for their endurance.

A lot of negative thoughts have been swirling inside my head for a long time. I confess that I have personally witnessed my Lord’s help a lot of  time, when things were going wrong for me, STILL I was under doubt. I wrote this post to myself and people like me, who needs constant support and encouragement. I want to let you know, if you cry out to him sincerely with your broken heart, none of your prayers will go unanswered. I remember my dad’s words from an old e-mail of his “Pray to God sincerely, and he  show you the way. he show your future ahead. he wrote in his broken english. Those words touched my heart deeply.

This is perhaps an important post of mine. I wanted to write these thoughts long back. I never saw an opportunity to bring it forefront. Now I gave this thoughts to you in the hope that it will be reached, read, grasped and meditated by you! Hope I will be able to fulfill that quest 🙂

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Look up!

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What do you see? Sky? No, there’s more to it right? ” Aim the stars and you will reach the sky” , have you heard about such a quote? 🙂 Isn’t it true? 🙂 Yes, it is. Look up, and you see a vast blue sky. Go ahead try to reach it out. That’s called determination to achieve success in life. At night, what do you see? When darkness crouches in, you can see the moon and million of stars shining brightly down upon you to lead your way in darkness. Even if its ‘no moon’ day the stars will twinkle to give you the light! What if the sky is clouded. It might be dark thoroughly, but you can see the wind blowing away the clouds.. that’s life! 🙂 Immerse yourself in the love of the Creator and His creation. You will not be lost…He will be the wind that will blow away your clouds. Wipe your tears and smile 🙂

 

 

 

The purpose of your life..

The purpose of your life..

I have had a real bad feeling recently in my journey of life. I am not able to do anything that I want in my life. I feel stagnant. I lack determination. I feel I have lost my way. Earlier, if I needed something in my life, I will do everything in my power to get the thing DONE! But now, I lack the power within me. I lack the determination to get there. I tried every methods, to bring back my old self of contentment, determination and the self made power. I read books. I scorched through websites. I tried reading the Holy scriptures, to know what the Holy One has to say about my distress. Everything had the same one message ” Have faith! Trust in God/Universe, Let go, Be yourself!, Visualize what you want” etc.. Then I did a self examination, to find out what I lack. I found out that I visualize what I want, but I don’t FOCUS on it. I lack courage. I found that in certain circumstances, I am being someone else rather than being myself! I found that I never trusted anything. I found that I lost the trust in me. Then,I LET GO of myself, in the front of the ULTIMATE POWER. I realized that I wasn’t praying in real. I was praying for the sake of praying, for the sake of the DUTY that was instilled upon me by elders. For the sake of fulfilling that duty, I just used to blabber something to God and get lost to the world of technology, where friends were awaiting me. Or I got lost in my useless day dreams. Now I realized, that the power in me became stagnant. The tiny murmmering voice in me became silent. My instincts got wrong. Still He was loving me, patiently showing me that HE EXISTS. I never realized that He was even hearing my simply blabbered prayers. Today I stand before to make you realize the”power that lies within you.” If you feel you are lost, sit somewhere silently and meditate. Listen to what the beat of your heart says. “It will speak your purpose.”

Beyond….

Beyond....

See what is beyond our thinking mind. The poster says that we have a silent stream of consciousness that gives answer to all our problems. The answer to our problems lies within us. It takes a bit of patience, meditation and prayers to open the inner eye
“Beyond our mind, there is a silent stream of consciousness that quenches our thirst to all the problems in us. Its upto us to discover the stream”